No no! There is no need to scroll down and look for Episode 3.
That bit is basically a trip to the hospital for a broken bum.
"She's not married and she broke her bum? Aiyyayo! Rama Rama! How will she get married now?" is what you'll just said to yourselves! Didn't you? Don't lie!
Okay, fine! I'll explain what happened!
So I've been asking every Tom, Dick & Harry I know to read this blog and give me their honest opinion (just to clarify, Dick is NOT my imaginary friend).
Anywhoo, Harry loved it. She wanted dates, names, emails and numbers for herself but that's for her blog too. :D
Tom compared my writing to the style of a certain B school grad who is making a good living for himself (not to be confused with the other B school grad who doubles as a film script writer). Alternate career opportunity for me! YAY!
Dick loved the blog so much he proposed to me!
That's right, boys and girls! A proposal! The blog's intention had failed!! Miserably!
Well anyway, I was disappointed for about 5 and a half moments till my senses kicked back in and my attention shifted to the date. It was the 1st of April!
I laughed and laughed to the point of tears and I was making hyena-like sounds which I'm pretty sure echoed across to Dick who is 4 continents away.
No bad feelings Dick! Guess who's opinion I shall heed when it comes to finally getting married? :)
So, amidst the laughter, tears and animal sounds, I tripped over the rug and landed on my behind. Hence the broken bum!
Sigh!
So yes, back to the social disease - "Matrimony".
The mania at home is reaching epic levels, I tell you! The readers of this blog are "kindly advised to make hurried travel arrangements for my wedding to be held later this year."
That is how my father plans to have me married - this year. Not to a nice boy with a good background and career prospects. But This Year.
"Why this year? What's the rush?", you ask? Arey fool! My horoscope says I will get married this year. It has been foretold by the stars and written in stone so not getting married this year means the end of life as we know it.
Just an FYI, I'm taking bets for the probability that the Mayans wrote my horoscope. To place your bets, please send an SMS "THIS GIRL'S-<BET AMOUNT>-APOCALYSPE" to 1800-2012-IN-2013-I-TOLD-YOU-SO
The winner gets a paid gig with an all-you-can-drink-bar at my wedding as a photographer! :D
To be eligible you must own a DSLR camera of course!
So rush in your entries NOW!
I suppose I can't blame the father though. The burden of a single 26 year old child is getting rid of his cranial follicular coverage. Not genetics or the fact that he's 55. No no no no no! Just an overgrown dependent who's overstaying her welcome!
Sidebar: All of Dad's friends are in a similar situations as too. But instead of being each others shoulder and support, they are busy trying to play golf and Amatuer-Cupids-cum-Wedding Planners in between holes.
After every game, before hearing about his improving Handicap, I am subjected to viewing about 6-7 profiles on www.jeebus-haathi.com! #facefacepalmpalm
Ridiculous no? WRONG!
My wedding date, reception venue, menu and guest list had been planned at one such game without the guests of honor, namely me and some guy, without even knowing each other's names!
I kid you not!
My shocked expression cannot even be described without losing consciousness.
It seems like my old man has given up working altogether now and just discusses with random people on the street if they know someone for his daughter.
Visits back home for him are basically PR activities for me. My aunt's neighbour was one such participant!
Seeing this kind of manic behaviour, I urge you all - my dearest readers, to not put your folks through this exercise. Growing old comes with its own baggage as it is. The added task of spouse hunting is not for the old and faint of heart. So go forth and date!
Don't give those damn sites a chance to call or email you and hound you crazy at work!
Just Say No to Arranged!
More on the aunt's neighour's son and the like in the next post..
Stay tuned!
